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1 Corinthians 7:1-40

Marital Maturity

  • Rich Jones
  • Weekend Messages
  • June 27, 2015

Paul takes the opportunity in 1 Corinthians 7 to address the issue of spiritual maturity as it relates to marriage. This chapter is filled with practical spiritual application and it’s good for everyone to understand spiritual maturity so it can be applied to every area of life. Marriage is important for everyone to understand from a spiritual perspective. Many people are married, or would like to be, so these verses are very practical for us today.

  • Sermon Notes
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  • Scripture

Marital Maturity

1 Corinthians 7:1-40

As we come to chapter 7, we begin a new section of Paul’s letter where he is answering some questions they sent to him, probably as a response to his first letter.

The first questions had to do with marriage, sexuality in marriage and being single. The church was in Corinth and as we discussed last week, that city was the “Amsterdam of the ancient world.” It was the very center of immorality in the Roman Empire. The temple of Aphrodite, goddess of beauty and love, was right there in Corinth and immorality was part of the culture of the day. The temple of Aphrodite today, otherwise known as the Internet, is still a part of our modern culture.

The response of the church was in two extremes. One group, who were mere men, or spiritually immature, needed strong correction and a better understanding of the heart of God. They were not spiritually appraising this thing rightly. “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit? Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a harlot? God forbid it. May never be!”

There was another group, however, who took the other extreme and believed that since sexuality was the root of all such immorality, then the best response should be to exclude sexuality in every form, and that included the idea that there should be no sexuality even in marriage.

Paul responds with correction of that view as well. In other words, Paul is saying, abstaining from sexuality in marriage is a terrible idea.

This chapter is filled with practical spiritual application and it’s good for everyone to understand spiritual maturity so it can be applied to every area of life. Marriage is important for everyone to understand from a spiritual perspective. Many people are married, or would like to be, so these verses are very practical.

Where do we get our ideas on marriage? Mostly from our culture and often that’s not much help at all.

Some kids were asked, “How do you decide who to marry?”

  • “You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports – and keep the chips and dip coming.” — Allen, age 10
  • “No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get the find out later who you’re stuck with.” –Kirsten, age 10

Another child was asked how to stay happily married…

  • “Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash.” — Erin, age 8

I.       Let Marriage be held in Honor

  • That phrase actually comes from a verse in Hebrews, but it captures Paul’s thoughts very well.
  • The question they asked Paul was probably, “Is it good for a man not to touch a woman at all, even if they’re married?”
  • “It’s good for a man not to touch a woman outside of marriage,” Paul is saying, but then comes the correction, because they took it too far.

A.      Don’t deprive one another

  • Paul says that sexual intimacy in marriage is a good thing. It’s a blessing from God to be enjoyed and you should not deprive one another from that blessing.
  • Paul then gets very practical. Because of immoralities, he said, it’s good to have a healthy sexual relationship. Good character and spiritual maturity is still required, but a good, healthy relationship and marriage is very helpful.
  • He even takes it one step further and says that neither spouse has authority over their own body. The husband does not have authority over his own body, and neither does the wife. In light of the culture of that day, that’s really a remarkable statement.
  • The words in the Greek suggest that each has an obligation to give the affection that is due.

App – The sense you get is that there were some who were withholding sexual affection on the grounds that they were being holy, but this certainly didn’t help the other person to be holy, in fact, it pushed them towards immorality. “Stop depriving one another,” Paul responds.

  • In verse 5, Paul makes an exception for the purpose of prayer — but only for a short time and by agreement, lest Satan tempt you.

Proverbs 3:27, Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, went it is in your power to do it.

  • That probably wasn’t the original intent, but it works.
  • It’s important that we recognize Satan’s great strategy when it comes to sexuality. He will do everything he can to encourage sex outside of marriage and everything he can to discourage sex within marriage. It’s a victory for him either way.

B.      It is better to marry than to burn

  • In verse 7 Paul is suggesting that remaining single can be a good thing. However, Paul also recognizes that being single and content is a gift from God and that not everyone has that gift.
  • If a person does not have control over their strong sexual desires, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with sexual desire, Paul is saying.
  • Later in this chapter Paul makes the point that a person who is not married is able to give more single hearted devotion to the Lord. (Verse 32)
  • Verse 28 – If you should marry, you certainly have not sinned, Paul is saying, “Yet such will have trouble in this life, and I’m trying to spare you.” A lot of people find Paul’s comment quite humorous, probably because it’s so close to reality.
  • In other words, marriage is not easy; it requires a huge investment of heart and soul and sometimes the troubles of marriage can be gut-wrenching.

Illus – A couple from another church asked if they could come in and talk about their marriage. After a few minutes I said, “I think I know your problem.” I said to the wife, “You don’t feel loved,” and then I said to the husband, “You don’t feel respected.” “Wow, that’s amazing,” they said, “how did you know?” Answer – that’s where they all fall short!

C.      Love God first

  • Verse 35 – Paul’s goal, he says, is to promote what is honorable and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.
  • In other words, your love for God should be first.
  • The person who is married is concerned for their spouse in how they may please them, or at least they should be. What I’ve found, however, is that God can use that concern for your spouse to make you a better person, to make you more godly.

Illus – When my son, Sasha, graduated from training for Special Forces, I flew out to North Carolina for the ceremony and then we drove back together. Let’s just say it was a man’s kind of trip. When I’m with my wife, she wants me to drive “like my mom’s in the car.”

  • The point Paul is making is that both the single person and the married person should be concerned how to please the Lord. The interests of a married person are divided and so it’s easier to have single hearted devotion if you’re single.
  • That being said, it’s also easy to be single and yet lack devotion to the Lord because they’re not content in their singleness.
  • The key is to learn the secret of being content.

Philippians 4:11-13, I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am…I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

  • But being content in marriage requires godly character and spiritual maturity as well.

II.      God Honors Marriage

  • In the next section, Paul gives several principles and instructions that show us that God honors marriage.
  • These are great principles of wisdom that everyone should understand whether they’re married or not because they give us the ability to appraise things spiritually.

A.      God hates divorce

  • I know there are a lot of people who have experienced or are experiencing divorce and I’m certainly not here to make you feel badly about the past, my heart is to speak about what God wants for your future.
  • I think everyone here who has been divorced would join me in speaking to the importance of strengthening marriage and being spiritually mature so you can avoid divorce in the future.
  • The number one reason given for divorce today is “irreconcilable differences.” There are always going to be differences; do they have to be irreconcilable?

Illus – As Ruth Graham once said, “The best marriages are made of two great forgivers.”

  • Verse 10-11 — The wife should not leave her husband and the husband should not send away his wife.
  • The Jewish rabbis had two opposing views. Rabbi Shammai taught that there was virtually no justifiable reason for divorce. Rabbi Hillel held a liberal view and taught that a man could divorce for any reason at all. According to him, if a wife made the coffee too strong that would be grounds for divorce, or if she burnt the toast, or didn’t please him in this way or that; he could divorce her.
  • The Jewish leaders presented the debate to Jesus. Interestingly, Jesus had just finished speaking about forgiveness. But He responded to the question by saying, “Moses permitted divorce because of the hardness of your heart, but from the beginning it has not been this way.”
  • Jesus then one on to explain that adultery is the only allowance for divorce. However, here in the letter to the Corinthians, Paul adds that if an unbelieving spouse leaves, let him leave, the brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases, because God has called us to peace.

B.       God has called us to peace

  • Verse 15 – Paul gives several principles to build his case in these verses.
  • If you’re married to an unbeliever and he or she consents to live with you, let it be and do not send them away simply because they’re an unbeliever.
  • Paul says in several places that Christians should not be unequally yoked; they should marry a believer. That being said, what if you find yourself in that condition anyway? Then let it be, if they want to stay, let them stay, God has called us to peace.

Illus – My wife knows of a woman who came to the Lord and, misunderstanding the scriptures, left her unbelieving husband. He then wanted nothing to do with the Lord; how tragic.

  • Verse 16 – For how do you know whether you will save your unbelieving husband or wife? In other words, bless and love your unbelieving spouse, you never know what might happen.
  • You are a temple of the Holy Spirit and marriage is created by God. Therefore it is covered by God’s favor. An unbelieving spouse is therefore blessed by it and the children also are sanctified.

C.      Walk in the condition you were called

  • Verse 17 — Paul writes many verses to make this point over and over. As God has called each, in this manner let him walk.
  • You can’t undo the past. Instead of thinking that you will walk for the Lord when your station changes, walk for the Lord in the place you are right now.
  • Many people have troubled pasts, but whether you’re married, single, divorced, widowed, remarried, or whatever, what matters is what you do now.
  • Verse 29 – The time is short, Paul is saying, use the time that you have now for the Lord. Maybe in the past you wasted your life, but the time is short, use the time you have to live for the Lord, have a sense of urgency.
  • The verses that follow mean; live in the perspective of eternity. Don’t let your possessions possess you, you’ll honor your wife more when you live for the Lord.

Luke 14:16-24 We have been invited to the banquet of the King…

Hebrews 11:8-10, By faith Abraham…lived as an alien in the land of promise… for he was looking for the city which has foundations, whose architect and builder is God.

Marital Maturity
1 Corinthians 7:1-40
June 27, 2015

Let’s pray. Father thank you so much because your heart is after us and you give us your word to transform our lives so we open our hearts this morning and say, God would you just move by your spirit on your word? And bring us to yourself this morning in Jesus name. Amen.

Alright, when you get to chapter 7, Paul is beginning a new section in this letter and in this new section he’s answering questions that they sent to him. Now, we know this is not the first letter he sent to them, we don’t have that one, but they must have responded to that with these questions. Now, the first questions have to do with marriage, sexuality in marriage, being single, and you have to wonder, well why was that the first question? Why was that so important? Because of the culture in which they were living, and remember, we kind of set the stage for this last week. Corinth could be called the Amsterdam of the ancient world, if you know what that means? I mean he was the center of sexual immorality. I mean the temple to Aphrodite the Goddess of Beauty and Love is right there in Corinth at the top of the acropolis. I mean, it was a huge issue and problem so this is why they wrote about it and it is important for us to understand because, frankly, we live in a very similar culture. I mean the temple of Aphrodite today, otherwise known as the internet, is a very huge issue, still a relevant problem in many people’s lives.

So the response of the church was two extremes; one group who were spiritually immature, mere men he calls them, needed correction. They needed a better understanding of God’s heart. He says “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit? Do you not know your bodies are member with Christ? Shall I take the members of Christ and join them with the harlot? God forbid it, may it never be”. And we spoke of that last week in Chapter 6.

Now, the other group took the other extreme. They believed that since sexuality was the root of all such immorality, then the best response should be to exclude sexuality in every form and that included the idea that there should be no sexuality even in marriage. So Paul is going to bring correction to that group as well. See, Paul is essentially saying “Listen, abstaining from sexuality in marriage is a terrible idea and if you’re going to just go straight after it to bring correction”. Now the chapter’s filled with practical, very practical spiritual applications and we all need to understand spiritual maturity because it applies in so many lives. And marriage, of course, is important to understand. It’s important to understand from a spiritual perspective. Many people are married, many people would like to be married so it’s very practical, so where do we get our ideas? Where do we get our concepts of marriage? Many get them from the families they were raised in, many get them from the culture in which we’re living, and that’s no help at all. We need, you know, godly perspective.

It’s interesting when you talk to kids and get kids perspective, and in fact, some kids were asked this question “How do you decide whom to marry?” Great question. Alan answers the question, he’s 10 years old, Alan says “Well, you’ve got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, they should like it that you like sports and she should keep the chips and dip coming”. I think Alan’s got a future. He does. Kirsten, aged 10, she says “No person actually really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before and then you get to find out later who you’re stuck with”. Another child was asked how to stay happily married. Aaron, aged 8 said “Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash”. I think Aaron’s onto something there, I tell you.

I. Let Marriage be held in Honor

Alright, let’s look at 1 Corinthian 7:1. Now concerning the things about which you wrote. It’s good for a man not to touch a woman. How’s that? I mean he just jumps into the deep end. I mean, this is really an interesting thing, he’s bringing up things that we would not normally speak of in public. I think it’s important for us to see that God in the scriptures is unafraid to deal with those topics that we might consider, you know, sensitive. We would not speak of these things in public.

A. Don’t deprive one another

Paul is an example of God’s heart of just speaking boldly to it because it touches spiritual things. It’s so very near and dear to our spiritual life and so he begins by saying “Now, let me answer the questions about which you wrote. It is good for a man not to touch a woman but because of immortalities, let each man have his own wife and let each woman have her own husband” and then he adds an interesting perspective “Let the husband fulfill his duty to his wife” and he’s speaking of sexual things there, and likewise, the wife to her husband. He goes even further into this “The wife does not have authority over her own body but the husband does and likewise also the husband, he does not have authority over his own body, the wife does”. Stop depriving one another, Paul says it’s so straightforward even in a directive. Stop it. Stop depriving one another he says except by agreement for a time that you may devote yourselves to prayer but then you come together again lest Satan tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Now, this I’m saying by way of concession not as a command, this idea of giving and exception for prayer. Yet, I wish that all men were even as I myself am. Now Paul was a single person and he believed that a single person could be single hearted in their devotion, there’s some benefits to being a single person, he is saying, but he also recognizes that that is not for everyone. Notice what he says in verse 7? “However each man has his own gift from God. One in this manner, another in that manner, but I say to the unmarried and to the widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I”. That’s to say unmarried. “But if they do not have self-control let them marry for it is better to marry than to burn, burn their sexual passion”.

Now, we’re going to look at other verses but I wanted to start with these because there’s some really good principles we need to understand because these things are spiritually praised. One of the things we need to see is this, let marriage be held in honor. It’s an honorable thing, let it be held in honor. Now that phrase actually comes from a verse in the book of Hebrews but it captures the thought of the thing really, really well. See, I think the question they ask Paul was probably something like this “Is it good for a man not to touch a woman at all even if they’re married?” so he answers “It is good for a man not to touch a woman outside of marriage” and then he brings this correction because they were taking it too far and he goes straight after it in verse 5 like a directive, “Stop it, don’t deprive one another”. So, what is he saying? He’s saying listen, sexual intimacy in marriage is good. Man it’s a blessing from God. Enjoy it. Don’t deprive one another of that blessing and, you see, he gets very, very practical. He says “Because of immoralities” he said “let a wife have her husband, a husband have a wife because of immoralities”, he says, “it’s good to have a healthy sexual relationship”.

Good character and spiritual maturity are required for a good marriage, that’s true, but a good healthy sexual relationship in marriage is very helpful. So he even takes it one step further and he says neither spouse has authority over their own body. The husband doesn’t have authority over his own body and so, likewise, the wife, and you know, in light of the culture of that day, that is a remarkable statement. In fact, the words of the Greeks suggest that each has an obligation to give the affection that is due to them. Now that is just an interesting thing. See, the sense that you get when you read this is that there were some who were withholding sexual affection on the grounds that they were being holy. Well, you’re certainly not helping the other person be holy and, in fact, you’re pushing them towards immorality, he says. “Stop it, stop depriving one another”, he says.

So in verse 5 he makes this exception for the purpose of prayer, but only for a short time, he says, and by agreement lest Satan tempt you. You know there’s a verse in Proverbs 3:27, and I’m sure this was not the original intent of this proverb but it is an interesting application of it. It goes this way, do not withhold good from those from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to do it. Don’t withhold good when it’s in your power to do it, do it. Now I really believe we need to step back and understand that there is a strategy of Satan involved here, there’s a spiritual warfare aspect to this whole topic and we really need to see it, we need to understand what it is. When it comes to sexuality the enemy will do everything he can to encourage and promote sexual activity outside of marriage and he will do everything he can to discourage sex within marriage and either way, it’s a victory for the enemy and frankly, I think the enemy has had far too much victory. It’s time that the Lord be honored because the Lord’s trying to bless his people. Amen.

B. It is better to marry than to burn

In fact he goes on to say “And it’s better to marry than to burn”. Interesting phrase, verse 7. He is suggesting that remaining single can be a good thing but he does recognize that being single and content is a gift from God and that everyone has that gift. He recognizes that. He says if a person doesn’t have control over their strong sexual desires, let them marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with desire, he is saying. In fact, jump forward in the chapter to verse 32 because here, he makes the point that the person who’s not married is able to give more single-hearted devotion to the Lord, noted verse 32. But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried, is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. There’s that single-hearted devotion that’s possible for the single person. But notice verse 28, jump up there if you would, if you seek, excuse me, if you should marry, however, you have not sinned and if a virgin should marry, she is not sinned. But listen to this, yet such will have trouble in this life and I’m trying to spare you. You have to admit that’s humorous. You know why that’s humorous? Because it’s so accurate. It’s so right on to reality. In other words, marriage is not easy, it takes a huge investment of heart and soul and if you are healthy in your marriage you know that’s because of that huge investment of heart and soul and he recognizes that there are sometimes when there’s troubles in a marriage, it’s gut wrenching and it’s distracting the spiritual things and in fact, the scripture addresses those things. God knows he dresses those to bring answers and solutions that you would have that spiritual victory in health and your relationship.

I remember many years ago, there was a couple from another church and they called and asked if they could come in and talk about their marriage. Obviously, they didn’t want to talk about it with their pastor. I said “Fine, come one”. So they came in, sat down and started talking about things and just after a few minutes, I said, “I think I know your problem” and they said “Really?”. I said to the wife “I think your problem is that you do not feel loved” and I looked at the husband and I said “I think your problem is that you don’t feel respected” and they looked at me and said “Wow, you are amazing”. Like, “how did you know that?” well, it’s right there, you see the whole thing is 95% of marriages have that problem and so he understands the issue and brings the spiritual solution. And so God wants us to be blessed.

C. Love God first

In fact, the whole point of 1 Corinthian 7, I think could be summarized this way; love God first. See? Verse 35, jump down to verse 35. I say this for your own benefit, not to put a restraint on you but to promote what seemly, what is honorable, what is good, and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord. In other words, love for God should be first. If you have love for God first, you’re a way better husband. If you have love for God first, you’re a way better wife. There’s a spiritual maturity. There’s a godly character that he’s calling us to. See the person who’s married is concerned for their spouse, how they may please their spouse and as it should be. Although I’m convinced that God uses that also for our good. I think our character is increased. The scripture says ‘he who has found a wife has found a good thing’ and God uses that, I know that I’m a definitely better person because I’m married, because the encouragement of my wife. Having said that, I know that when I was single, I lived differently, did things differently.

I remember when a friend of mine, I decided to go camping for a few days, we didn’t buy any food, we just took some fishing poles, threw them in the back of the car and we took off for a few days. Do you know how this ends? Yeah, badly, that’s how it ends because we go there, we drive, you know, and it’s getting dark, it’s the evening and the clouds come in, and starts to rain and fishing is hard when it’s raining, and we’re not catching anything. We’ve got to eat and finally we got, like, one fish and then we realized we had no net and we couldn’t get it in. It was a trout so I’m in the water up to my knees and I’m trying to get it up to the rocks, you know, finally we get the thing up on the shore and we can’t even light a fire and so no dinner, right? So we’re sitting in the car, cold, wet, shivering and some wonderful soul saw us in our poor plight and they had a camper there in the camp ground so they came over and knocked on our window “Would you like to come in and have some chilli?” oh thank you, praise God, but even that didn’t end well, if you know what I’m saying? I mean you don’t do these things with a wife in tow.

You know, I remember when my son graduated from special forces training in North Carolina and I said I would go back for the graduation ceremony. So I flew over there and said I would help him drive back. He wanted to drive his car to Portman. So the ceremony was in the evening, you know, he’s got to pack his stuff up and everything. It’s getting to like nine o’clock and so literally we’re at the Atlantic ocean, I can see the ocean and I said “Do you have this figured out? What city are we going to stop in to get a hotel”. He said “Hotel? We’re not stopping at a hotel”. I mean, I’m married, I get sleep, okay? He said “We’re driving straight through from the east coast.” “We’re driving straight through?”. “If you can’t do it, I’ll do it myself”. He’s in the marines, right? I said “Okay, fine, you want to do that? Then we’ll do it that way”. We drove from the east coast literally seen the Atlantic ocean to Portland in 45 hours. We drove straight through. I mean, no showers, no shaving, eating out of the back of a curler, you want to go to the bathroom you can just wait until we get gas. The car never cooled down one time. We got there in 45--. You do not do this with a wife in tow, I’m telling you. I will tell you though I, you know, not married, I do things differently. I drive way better now that I’m married and all the husbands said….
I remember when, my wife, when I first got married, she would say “Drive like your mother’s in the car” and I heard that enough so I finally went to my mom, put her in the car and said “Strap in because we’re going for a ride”. Take that argument away. She had a good sense of humor, it was fun. But the point, back to our regularly scheduled message, we got distracted there. The point that he’s making is love God first.

See, whether you’re single, whether you’re married, you should be concerned for how to please the Lord, he is saying. Please God first. The interest, however, of a married person are divided and he is just simply saying it’s easier to have a single-hearted devotion if you’re single. Now, that being said, it’s also easy to be single and yet lack devotion to the Lord because you’re not content in your singleness. That can be a huge distraction as well. One of the things we say to young people who long to get married, want to get married, is that unless you can be content in your singleness, you will not be content in your marriage. There’s a spiritual maturity and a godly character that is needed in order for you to be spiritually content and that brings the maturity that you need to be a good husband, or to be a good wife. In fact, in Philippians 4:11-13, Paul makes a remarkably powerful statement “I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am” he says “I can do all things through him, and Christ strengthens me”. That’s spiritual maturity, that’s godly character. And that’s the key to being content whether you’re single or you’re married.

II. God Honors Marriage

So back to verse Corinthian 7, the point that he wants us to see is that God honors marriage. Marriage is God’s creation, it’s his institution, God honors marriage. Now I realize that the supreme court has made their definition but see that’s the government’s definition of marriage. God has his own definition of marriage and I suggest to you that God’s definition is higher. So there are great principles of wisdom that everyone should understand whether they’re married or not because it gives us the ability to praise things spiritually.

A. God hates divorce

See, one of the things we see, starting in verse 10 is that God hates divorce. I know there’s a lot of people who have experienced divorce and probably many people in this room, or maybe even experiencing it. And I’m not bringing the topic up to make you feel badly about the past, I’m speaking to what God wants to do now and in the future, the question is what God is doing now? What about the future? In fact, I think, anyone who’s ever been through a divorce would say to me, preach on Pastor, strengthen marriage, start talking about it because I don’t want anybody to experience the pain of what I went through. If you can help, if you can encourage marriage, go for it Pastor, preach on, Amen, because there’s the point that he’s wanting to make. See the number one reason given for divorce is “irreconcilable differences” there’s always going to be differences. There will always be differences but do they have to be irreconcilable?

I love the answer that Ruth Graham gave when she was asked about the issues of being married to Billy Graham and she responded and said “The best marriage is made up of two great forgivers”. Now that’s good, it touches right on the issue of spiritual maturity and godly characters, see that is what’s required to be a great forgiver. It is a really powerful point. Be a great forgiver. That requires spiritual maturity and godly character. Let’s read it starting in verse 10 “To the married I give instructions. Now, not I but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband if she does leave let her remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband, and that the husband should not send his wife away. To the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, he brings up both cases and she can sense to live with him, let him not send her away. And if a woman has an unbelieving husband and he can sense to live with her, let her not send her husband away. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife” which is interesting “and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband. For otherwise your children are unholy but they are Holy. Now if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave. The brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases. God has called us to peace. For how do you know wife, whether you will save your husband? How do you know oh husband whether you will save your wife?”. Really powerful principles to understand.

You know the Jewish Rabbi’s, during the time of Jesus, had two very distinctly and very opposite views. Rabbi Hillel held a very liberal view, excuse me, Rabbi Shammai taught that there was virtually no justifiable reason for divorce at all, he was on one side. Rabbi Hillel held the liberal view and he taught that a man could divorce his wife for any reason at all. According to Rabi Hillel, if a wife made the coffee too strong, that would be, pardon the pun, grounds for divorce. I’m sorry, had to do it. If she burnt the toast, you’re out of here. If she didn’t please him this way or that way he could divorce her so they brought the debate to Jesus, bringing the dilemma to him.

B. God has called us to peace

Interestingly, Jesus had just finished speaking on forgiveness. It wasn’t just a coincidence. He then responded to the question he said “Moses permitted divorce because of the hardness of heart but from the beginning it has not been this way”. It goes back to Genesis 2:24 “For this a man shall leave his father and mother and should cleave to his wife and the two shall become one flesh”. There’s a spiritual and soulful intimacy of one-ness. He goes on then,Jesus did, to explain that adultery is the only allowance for divorce. However, here in the letter to the Corinthians in chapter 7, Paul adds another allowance and that is if you’re unbelieving spouse wishes to leave, let them leave because he says God, this is verse 15, for God has called us to peace. Now there’s a principle that guides the whole understanding. God has called us to peace. If you’re married to an unbeliever and he or she wants to live with you, wonderful, let it be, don’t send them away simply because they’re an unbeliever. Well you might say, well why is Paul bringing this up at all? Well, because in several places he has taught and said that a Christian should marry within the Lord, they should marry a believer, do not be unequally yoked he said plainly. I’m trying to help you, I’m trying to encourage you. There is a soulful and spiritual one-ness so I want to encourage you that if you’re a believer to marry within the Lord.

That being said, what if you should find yourself in that condition of being married to a non-believer? He says we’re made for peace. If they want to stay, please let them stay. God has called us for peace. You don’t know a wife, you might win your husband, you don’t know a husband, you might win your wife. Bless them, serve them, love them, show them the character of God, show them the maturity of Christ, show them grace, show them forgiveness, they are your mission field. You pour your heart out to them because otherwise, the reputation of Christ is damaged.

I remember when my wife was in a bible study, she was a brand new believer, she was in this bible study and this other woman, who was also a brand new believer, came and reported to the group that she had left her husband and they were “Why? Why did you do that?” and she said “Because the scripture said don’t be unequally yoked”. “Well wait a minute, it says other things too. Did he want you to leave?”, “No, not at all”. “Oh what a tragedy” and in fact the husband responded by saying “I want nothing to do with your Lord if that’s the way he is” and he didn’t know. There’s a great principle here; love, bless, minister, serve, show the grace of god, they’re your mission and you don’t know. You don’t know. You might win them to Christ.

C. Walk in the condition you were called

And so then he gives an interesting thing in verse 14, the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, doesn’t mean they’re saved, it means it’s a blessing that covers it. The unbelieving wife is sanctified through her husband and the children are sanctified. You’re the temple of the Holy Spirit he says and you’re in a marriage that God has favor on because God is the one who created marriage, his favor is on it, and you’re in it and you have the blessing of God. The unbelieving spouse is blessed and the children are sanctified. That’s a great principle to know. Then in verse 17 he brings another principle to us which he repeats several different times and the principle is this “Walk in the condition in which you were called”. He’s speaking to their past. Whatever’s happened in the past is the past. Let now God be concerned about what is happening in the future. Okay, you’ve made some mistakes, led to this point in your life, but the question is what will you do now?

So verse 17, only this he says, as the Lord has a sign to each one as God has called each one, in this manner, let him walk, and thus I direct in all the churches. Then he brings up cases or examples of how the principle is applied to other areas. Then he comes back to marriage. He says “Was any man called already circumcised? Well let him not become uncircumcised”. Well how that’s possible, I have no idea, but he brings it up. He said “Has anyone been called in uncircumcision? Then let him not be circumcised. Circumcision is nothing. Uncircumcision is nothing. What matters is that he keeps the commandments of God. What matters is what you do now. What matters is whether there’s a spiritual revival. What matters is if there’s something alive in you that is after God. That’s what matters” and he repeats the point, verse 20, “let each man remain in that condition on which he was called”. Were you called while a slave or a servant? Don’t worry about it. But if you were able to be freed, do that for sure. He who was called by the Lord while a slave, he was the Lord’s free man. Likewise, he who was called while free is the Lord’s slave. In those days, a person in debt can actually sell themselves in the slavery to actually get out of indebtedness.

Verse 23, don’t you know you were bought with a prize? Don’t be slaves of men. So he goes back, brother, let each man remain with God in that condition in which he was called. Third time he said that. Now, concerning virgins I have no command of the Lord but I have an opinion as one, who by their mercy of the Lord is trustworthy, I think then that this is good in view of the present distress. What is that present distress? Was it the culture? The times? The corinth? Was it the oppression and persecution of wrong? Don’t know. But he says that in light of that present distress it’s good for a man to remain as he is. Are you bound to a wife? Don’t seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Don’t seek a wife. But if you should marry you’ve not sinned, don’t worry. And if a virgin should marry, she’s not sinned, don’t worry. But such will have trouble and I’m trying to spare you. But this I say, verse 29, brother, this I say, the time is short, the time has been shortened so that from now on, those that have wives should be as though they have none. What does that mean? He’s not at all promoting that one should ignore his wife because, in other places, he says love your wife like Christ loves the church. What he’s saying is have God as the first priority, a sense of urgency in your relationship to the Lord. Let that be first, that’s his point. He goes on to say, verse 30, those who weep, let them be as those who do not weep. Those who rejoice as those who do not rejoice, and those who buy as though they did not possess. Don’t let your possessions possess you.

So you see, the point he’s trying to make is that the past is the past. Whatever decisions, whatever things have happened, whatever mistakes you’ve made, now the question is what will you do now? Some people think well I’ll honor the Lord when this and that changes, when this, when things start getting better then, then, then I will. He says no, now. Whether you’re married, single, divorced, widowed, re-married, whatever, he says what matters is what you do now. Time is short he is saying. Use the time that you have now, use it for the Lord, that’s the question. Maybe in the past you’ve wasted your life, maybe in the past you’ve made many mistakes, maybe you’ve ruined things, maybe you’ve destroyed things, maybe you’ve wasted things. He says, listen, the past is the past. The question is now, what will you do now? Let there be a sense of urgency. Let there be this priority. God must be first. You’ll be a way better husband. You’ll be a way better wife. Let there be spiritual maturity now. Let there be godly maturity now, maybe there wasn’t before. Maybe in your spiritual immaturity you made many mistakes but the question is now will you have maturity in Christ. Will you have godly character now? Will you serve him now? Will there be a sense of urgency in your life?

Let me turn your bibles to Luke 14 if you would. In Luke 14 Jesus gives a parable that really helps us to understand the priority of spiritual things. Notice this parable beginning in verse 16 that Jesus says a certain man was giving a big dinner and he invited many. Right away you see it applies to us. We’re invited to the marriage supper of the lamb, we’re invited to the banquet feast of the king, there’s a similarity so at the dinner hour, he sent out his servant to say to those who have been invited “Come for everything is now ready” but they all alike began to make excuses. The first one said “Oh, I bought a piece of lamb and I need to go and look at it, please consider me excused”. Yeah like you didn’t go before? Just an excuse. It’s not important. It’s not important, you’re making an excuse. Another one said “I bought five (inaudible 32:40) and I’m going to go and try them out”. Really, you didn’t test drive them before you bought them? It’s just an excuse. Another one said “I’ve married a wife and for that reason I cannot come”. Jesus is saying “See, your relationship to the Lord needs to be over that, needs to be higher than that because when your relationship to the Lord is higher than that and first over that, you’re just a way better husband”. He’s calling us to spiritual maturity to godly character. The question is what do you do now? They’re all making excuses because it wasn’t important. Is there a sense of urgency now?

Hebrews 11:8 - 10, by Faith Abraham, lived as an alien in the land of promise. Lived as an alien in this earth for you who is looking for that city that has foundations, whose architect and builders got a view of heaven, spiritual priorities fixes eyes on eternity. That’s the question. What will you do now? A lot of mistakes you’ve made in the past but can you now, can you now serve and honor and glorify the one who calls you? That’s the question now.

Let’s pray. Father, thank you so much for your word, your heart after us and God thank you for reaching out knocking on our hearts, drawing us to yourself, bringing revival. For all of us can relate. Many have made many mistakes. The past is littered with the mistakes, the decisions, the choices made from spiritual immaturities. The question is now. What will you do? Can God be first? Can there be a sense of spiritual urgency? Can you long for spiritual maturity? Can you desire a Godly character? Can that be first? Can that be highest? It will cover over all other things, seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added onto you. Church, would you say that to the Lord? Would you say that? First God, I want you to be first. I’ve made a lot of mistakes. I’ve made some pretty bad decisions but now, but now Lord I don’t want to waste any more years. I don’t want to waste any more of my life, I’ve wasted enough. I’ve wasted enough. I want to be different. I want to have spiritual maturity. I want to have some character. I want to live with some honor. I want to be different. Help me change Lord, help me change. Help me change. Is that your character? Is that your heart? Is that your desire? Would you just raise your hand to the Lord and say it? God, I want you to know it. I’m raising my hand because that’s my heart. I’m crying out to you Lord. I want to live free now. I want to live, just raise your hand. Be spiritually bold, you know? I want to live for you Lord. I want to do it. Thank you Lord for everyone, everyone who says yes, everyone who is touched by the spirit, everyone who is drawn to you. God help us to understand that this is about how much you love us, how much you want to bless us, we honor you now for it all, in Jesus name and everyone said Amen.

1 Corinthians 7:1-40     NASB

1 Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. 3 The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 But this I say by way of concession, not of command. 7 Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that.

8 But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. 9 But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 10 But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband 11 (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.

12 But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. 15 Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?
 
17 Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk. And so I direct in all the churches. 18 Was any man called when he was already circumcised? He is not to become uncircumcised. Has anyone been called in uncircumcision? He is not to be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but what matters is the keeping of the commandments of God. 20 Each man must remain in that condition in which he was called.
 
21 Were you called while a slave? Do not worry about it; but if you are able also to become free, rather do that. 22 For he who was called in the Lord while a slave, is the Lord’s freedman; likewise he who was called while free, is Christ’s slave. 23 You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men. 24 Brethren, each one is to remain with God in that condition in which he was called.

 

25 Now concerning virgins I have no command of the Lord, but I give an opinion as one who by the mercy of the Lord is trustworthy. 26 I think then that this is good in view of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is. 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you. 29 But this I say, brethren, the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none; 30 and those who weep, as though they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as though they did not possess; 31 and those who use the world, as though they did not make full use of it; for the form of this world is passing away.

32 But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; 33 but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35 This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.

36 But if any man thinks that he is acting unbecomingly toward his virgin daughter, if she is past her youth, and if it must be so, let him do what he wishes, he does not sin; let her marry. 37 But he who stands firm in his heart, being under no constraint, but has authority over his own will, and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well. 38 So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better. 39 A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40 But in my opinion she is happier if she remains as she is; and I think that I also have the Spirit of God.

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