Godly Principles for Marriage

Godly Principles for Marriage
1 Corinthians 7:1-40
September 15, 2024

     As we get into Chapter 7, we know by now that Paul has been correcting the Corinthians on many issues in which they were acting immaturely.

     Now as we head into this chapter, we deduce there was a previous letter that they asked him some questions and guidance on certain topics, and he starts to address this.

     As a warning to parents, this might be a PG sermon, because Paul is dealing with correcting the view of marriage, which includes sexuality and intimacy. Although this might be a difficult topic to discuss, I believe it is critical for Christians to understand God’s purpose and heart in this.

      This is one of the subjects that is perverted by the world to such a degree that people cannot fathom the God was initially the author of intimacy, that He ordained it, blessed it and celebrate it within His framework.

     As a back story, we know that the city of Corinth was a very sexually perverse place with the temple of Aphrodite being in the city which had  thousands of temple prostitutes luring the men into many lustful things and wickedness. Immorality was the culture of the day and we are seeing the same thing today as well.

     Nowadays we don’t just have a temple of Aphrodite somewhere in the world in one place, we now have the Internet everywhere. The whole world is permeated with a perverted version of sex, to such a degree that even many Christians don’t know what is wrong or right anymore.

     The church in Corinth responded in two ways. You have the one group that said that everything that is of the flesh is sinful anyway, so there’s no reason to try and keep it holy. Sex is just sex and part of the carnal flesh, so there was no reason to not indulge in it. They were living like the free love movement of the 1960s.

     As we saw last time, Paul corrects them harshly and says that they are temples of the Holy Spirit who lives in them and the body is holy and sacred, meant to be surrendered to God and never to be united with a prostitute.

     But then there was the other group, who also said that the body was sinful and evil, so everything the body does is sinful and evil, especially sexual relations. Their erroneous understanding was that, when one becomes a believer, one is only a spiritual being and should flee from any sexual contact even between husband and wife.

Illus – Long ago we had a young man come in for counseling with a very serious matter. He loved a young woman and they got married, but no one ever discussed sexual intimacy with them in premarital counseling. Because of her growing up in a conservative God-fearing home, she had the perception that all sex was bad and evil. After they got married, he found out that her perspective on sexual intimacy is that it is only for reproduction. She had such a disdain for sex because of how the world has perversely portrayed it, that she wanted nothing to do with sexual intimacy.

     Paul responds with correction of that view as well. In other words, Paul is saying, abstaining from sexuality in marriage is a terrible idea.

     Where do we get our ideas on marriage? Mostly from our culture and often that’s not much help at all, because this culture does not subscribe to the biblical guidelines to give direction.

     This chapter is filled with practical spiritual application and it’s good for everyone to understand spiritual maturity also in this matter as Paul addresses marital intimacy, whether one should get married or not, and what God’s heart is concerning relationships.

I. Marriage is Important

• It was ordained by God. As we see in Ephesians 5, it becomes the closest representation of intimacy between Jesus and His bride here on earth.
• The question they asked Paul was probably, “Is it good for a man not to touch a woman at all, even if they’re married?”
• “It’s good for a man not to touch a woman outside of marriage,” Paul is saying, but then comes the correction, because they took it too far.

A. Don’t deprive one another

• Paul says that sexual intimacy in marriage is a good thing. It’s a blessing from God to be enjoyed and you should not deprive one another from that blessing.
• Paul then gets very practical. Because of immoralities, he said, it’s good to have a healthy sexual relationship. Good character and spiritual maturity are still required even in this, but a good, healthy relationship and marriage is important.
• He even takes it one step further and says that neither spouse has authority over their own body. The husband does not have authority over his own body, and neither does the wife.
• The words in the Greek suggest that each has an obligation to give the affection that is due.

App – The sense you get is that there were some who were withholding sexual affection on the grounds that they were being holy, but this certainly didn’t help the other person to be holy. In fact, it pushed them towards immorality. “Stop depriving one another,” Paul responds.

• In these few sentences Paul again captures the essence of the issue. It is all about the heart. Some women go the other way and use sex as a manipulation tool, or as a ‘reward’ for good behavior. This is the wrong perspective.
• Also, husbands cannot treat their wives like garbage and then quote this verse and say, ‘your body belongs to me.’
• I have seen many marriages where their sex life has become a battleground, where husband and wife try to outwit and outplay one another.

Ephesians 5:21-25, and be subject to one another in the fear (reverence) of Christ.

• Intimacy in marriage is a wonderful ‘serving’ of one another on the deepest level, celebrating your covenant you have before and in God.

Illus – With all premarital counseling I’ve done in the past, I told them that sexual intimacy has only about 10%  importance in the marriage, unless it is not there. Then its importance becomes 90%. In other words, it should not be an issue if you have a healthy intimate life, but if you don’t it will become a major distraction and problem.

• So, Paul is adamant about this. Do not withhold sexual intimacy from one another. In verse 5, Paul makes an exception for the purpose of prayer, but only for a short time and by agreement, lest Satan tempt you.

Proverbs 3:27, Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when  it is in your power to do it.

• That probably wasn’t the original intent, but it works.
• For this to be true one need to realize that sex inside of marriage is good. It is part of the glue, that intimacy, that one very special wonderful gift you only share with one other person in this world that makes it precious, beautiful, exclusive.
• It’s important that we recognize Satan’s great strategy when it comes to sexuality. He will do everything he can to encourage sex outside of marriage.
• With all people, saved or not, it is the deepest betrayal one can feel if they are betrayed sexually. It tears the soul like flesh being ripped apart, it destroys trust. It sends the soul into deep turmoil and rejection.
• Satan will also do everything he can to discourage sex within marriage. It’s a victory for him either way.
• When there is no fulfillment of intimacy in marriage, it opens many avenues for the enemy to tempt.

Application – He will send that temptress or tempter your way.

• What God meant for good, the enemy wants to turn for evil.
• That’s why Paul says, don’t withhold it so Satan will not tempt you.

B. It is better to marry than to burn

• In verse 7 Paul is suggesting that remaining single can be a good thing. However, Paul also recognizes that being single and content is a gift from God and that not everyone has that gift.
• In fact, it is not the norm. God ordained marriage and sexual intimacy when He ordered, be fruitful and multiply. Being single can serve a purpose but only if God ordained that for His kingdom.

Illus – I have a missionary friend…

• God gave us a sex drive. It is arguably the fourth strongest drive we have after air, water, and hunger.
• He did not mean that one should stay single, burn with lust, and then live out sexuality outside of marriage covenant.
• If a person does not have control over their strong sexual desires, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with sexual desire, Paul is saying.
• But, by the way, don’t think this scripture says get married to have sex. That is not the primary reason. Such a marriage will be a very empty one. It goes without saying that that person should first be your best friend.
• Later in this chapter Paul makes the point that a person who is not married is able to give more single-hearted devotion to the Lord. (Verse 32)
• Verse 28 – If you should marry, you certainly have not sinned, Paul is saying, “Yet such will have trouble in this life, and I’m trying to spare you.”
• Paul was probably also speaking from the context of the hardships that were to come for the Christians as they were being persecuted.
• That being said, marriage is not always easy; it is a great gift, but it requires a huge investment of heart and soul. But there is also beauty in this.

Proverbs 27:17, Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

• The person who is married is concerned for their spouse in how they may please them, or at least they should be. What I’ve found, however, is that God can use that concern for your spouse to make you a better person, to make you more godly.
• The person you love the most, can sometimes also be the one that infuriates you the most.
• Most of the time it infuriates you because they are not doing what you want them to do or how you want them to do it. See the problem? It is all about you. If you are nudging your spouse in the ribs now, remember it counts for you as well.
• God can use your husband or wife to remove your sharp edges. If both are willing to live in humility, see the others perspective, admit to also sometimes being wrong, and be willing to grow, I believe that there is no other vehicle than marriage that has a greater potential of growing you into the image of Christ.

C. Love God first

• Verse 35 – Paul’s goal, he says, is to promote what is honorable and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.
• In other words, your love for God should be first.
• The point Paul is making is that both the single person and the married person should be concerned with how to please the Lord. The interests of a married person are divided and so it’s easier to have single hearted devotion if you’re single.
• That being said, it’s also easy to be single and yet lack devotion to the Lord because they’re not content in their singleness.
• When both parties love God first, they are on a path of growing towards God, and whatever differences they have, become aligned more as they move closer to God.

Illus- A triangle shows this principle perfectly…

• But if one of the partners is moving towards a different goal which is not God, it is very difficult to grow closer.

II. God Honors Marriage

• In the next section, Paul gives several principles and instructions that show us that God honors marriage.
• These are great principles of wisdom that everyone should understand whether they’re married or not because they give us the ability to appraise things spiritually.

A. God hates divorce

• I know there are a lot of people who have experienced or are experiencing divorce and I’m certainly not here to make you feel badly about the past, my heart is to speak about what God wants for your future.
• I think everyone here who has been divorced would join me in speaking to the importance of strengthening marriage and being spiritually mature so you can avoid divorce in the future.
• The number one reason given for divorce today is “irreconcilable differences.” There are always going to be differences; do they have to be irreconcilable?
• If both parties love the Lord and wants to align with Christ and His word, there is no “irreconcilable differences”, because Christ is not torn in Himself.
• Verse 10-11 — The wife should not leave her husband and the husband should not send away his wife.
• The Jewish leaders presented the debate on divorce to Jesus. Interestingly, Jesus had just finished speaking about forgiveness. But He responded to the question by saying, “Moses permitted divorce because of the hardness of your heart, but from the beginning it has not been this way.”
• Jesus then went on to explain that adultery is the only allowance for divorce. However, here in the letter to the Corinthians, Paul adds that if an unbelieving spouse leaves, let him leave, the brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases, because God has called us to peace.

B. God has called us to peace

• Verse 15 – Paul gives several principles to build his case in these verses.
• If you’re married to an unbeliever and he or she consents to live with you, let it be and do not send them away simply because they’re an unbeliever.
• Paul says in several places that Christians should not be unequally yoked; they should marry a believer.
• It should not just be a cultural religious Christian, but someone who is a sold out, Spirit filled follower of Jesus who have died to self and lives for Christ.
• That being said, what if you find yourself in that condition anyway? Then let it be, if they want to stay, let them stay, God has called us to peace.
• Verse 16 – For how do you know whether you will save your unbelieving husband or wife? In other words, bless and love your unbelieving spouse, you never know what might happen.
• You are a temple of the Holy Spirit and marriage is created by God. Therefore, it is covered by God’s favor.
• An unbelieving spouse is therefore blessed by it and the children also are sanctified because they will come in contact with the Christian community and teaching, and influenced by their contact with the followers of Christ.
• This will introduce and expose them to a godly holy way of living which can restrain the influence of the world.

C. Walk in the condition you were called

• Verse 17 — Paul writes many verses to make this point over and over. As God has called each, in this manner let him walk.
• You can’t undo the past. Instead of thinking that you will walk for the Lord when your situation changes, walk for the Lord in the place you are right now.
• Many people have troubled pasts, but whether you’re married, single, divorced, widowed, remarried, or whatever, what matters is what you do now.
• Verse 29 – The time is short, Paul is saying, use the time that you have now for the Lord. Maybe in the past you wasted your life, but the time is short, use the time you have to live for the Lord, have a sense of urgency.
• Live in the perspective of eternity. Don’t let your possessions possess you. From a marital context, even in your relationship you’ll honor your spouse more when you live for the Lord.
• It is important to remember , this world is not our home. We live by different principles.

Whatever state you are in, live reflecting that kingdom and God’s heart.